I'm a comedian. I also read comics. Sometimes, things in comics whether it be particular issues, storylines, mythology, related media from movies to TV shows etc. make me laugh. And I rant about it to my friends. Well, now I'm putting those riffs here. To share with the interwebs. Aren't you lucky, interwebs?

Friday, June 17, 2011

So You've Become a Green Lantern

In honor of the Green Lantern movie, the first post of this blog will center around the mythology of that character. I will disclaimer by saying, I don't read the Green Lantern. I have vague familiarity. I will see the movie only because Ryan Reynolds will be shirtless and that costume leaves nothing to the imagination.

This is just something I've found humorous.

Once upon a time The Green Lantern was allergic to yellow, or something. I understand this is no longer the case. That's been retconned. But imagine for a moment if it was still true? And ignore that you need yellow to make green. Do you think they get a brochure on your new powers once you receive your ring?

So You've Decided to Become a Green Lantern

With this ring, you get really cool powers. You can fly, and make cool stuff out of green light just by thinking about it. You can do some other cool stuff, like diagnose illness, identify material, travel time, translate languages, communicate with other people who are like you, make wormholes without an Apature Science portal guns and many other exciting powers you'll learn all about in training.

One thing though: You sort of need to steer clear of the color yellow. It's like, an allergy or something. No more twinkies, no taking the school bus, you might want to avoid driving because of signs and yellow lights. No McDonalds. Bananas are out right. I think you'll find this inconvenient but, hey.. you can make stuff out of green light! And portals! Who doesn't love that?

It's not true anymore, because wouldn't that make it real hard to fight the Sinestro Corps?

Think about it, but not too much.

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